Every year, I talk to each class three times a year about Erin's Law. If you are not familiar it is the law that mandates that students are educated on child sexual assault at a developmentally appropriate level from preschool through high school. I really enjoy going into the classes and having an opportunity to teach within the classrooms. I don't get to do that as often as I have in the past.
Teaching about this law gives me a sense of gratitude that I get to teach children about how to empower themselves and to use their little but mighty voices. They learn that their body is theirs and theirs alone. They are taught to find a trusted adult and keep telling until someone takes action to help them. It brings awareness that predators are not just that creepy man lurking in an alley way, but more times than not a person who is quite familiar to them. After these lessons, I will have students to ask to talk to me privately. When they do, your heart will sink to know that this is critical. I may have the little second grader who says "well my mommy touches my brother's bottom" and you ask a clarifying question or two. Then I find out that the brother is a baby and the mom is just changing his diaper. I explain, "Remember that is to keep your brother healthy" and she happily skips back to class. Other times, a child asks to speak with you immediately following the lesson. They burst into tears as they tell me that a relative or a family friend has been abusing them. I have to stay composed except that I want to cry with them. But if I break down who will be there to pick up their pieces and try to make them whole again. In that moment I remind them of how brave they are beyond measure and that they did exactly what I have been teaching them to do....TELL. I always think that if those lessons have helped "even one" child, then it is time well spent. A few years ago, I had a student return for a school function. I knew immediately who she was and the connection we shared through her abuse. She was still as brave as the moment she disclosed about the abuse. She said to me "You saved my life." I hugged her and burst into tears, we just couldn't let go of each other. That moment is as real for me now as it was then. (As I am typing with tears rolling down my face) I will continue to have an open door policy to talk with me, I may ask if it is an emergency or can we schedule a time. But I will always make time, I never want anyone to feel as though they don't have a voice. I want all my little friends to continue to be brave. I feel strongly that, you may not know the impact we have on the students’ lives at such a young age. We get to plant the seeds and hopefully they come back as adults and we get to see how the flowers grew.
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My son decided over the weekend that he would tryout for the school volleyball team. A bunch of his friends were trying out and maybe that is were he gained the courage to try out too. Tryouts started on Monday and the first round of cuts happened yesterday. The second round of cuts happened today. I called as soon as I thought he was done, so then I have to wait.
This is really huge for him. Typically, he is very shy and very much an introvert. He doesn't always put himself out there, especially where he should. Of course, I think he is a great kid, with a kind heart and a very good friend to his buddies. He takes school seriously and he will always take you at your word, unless you give hima reason not to. I love that he is trying things out of his comfort zone. He has never played volleyball before, so I was very surprised he decided to tryout. I worry about what if he doesn't make it.... how will that impact his self-concept, will this deter him from going outside of his comfort zone again and how do I help pick up the pieces. I finally was able to connect with him to find out how the final cut went. My initial worry was for nothing. I couldn't be more excited for him and his new adventure. Now that he made the team, brings about a whole new set of questions of questions... when are the games, will it impact baseball and can we fit it all in! How fun to not only try a new sport but pretty much have the team stacked with all your friends! Good luck buddy! xoxo Robyn, Kim and I are the “Store Managers” of the school store at work. We decided this year that we would continue to make enhancements to the school environment. We started to decorate in the little kids’ bathroom on the lower level and are working our way through the bathrooms in the building. We, meaning Robyn, has found some awesome kid friendly stuff at Hobby Lobby.
We kind discuss that it would be a good idea for us to meet and decide together on what we want to purchase next. The day of conferences Robyn, Kim and I decided to meet at Hobby Lobby by school to pick out décor for the primary wing’s bathrooms. We text and say we will meet by 10:20 at the one closest to school. We all agree and head over. I get there first so I start looking around, honestly I could be in there for hours looking around. I send some pictures to our group text of things I like. Then I glance at the time and wonder how I am the only one here. Seriously, none of us are the timeliest people, so I think nothing of it. Then I get a text from Robyn asking which aisle I am in, she responds with a “we don’t see you.” I quickly dial her number and say laughingly “Maybe I am at the wrong store?” Come to find out there was a store that was closer to work and I was not at that one! We probably should have clarified which town the store was in….needless to say we were all at Hobby Lobby, just not altogether. Is there every a point where you just can't imagine holding your eyes open for even just one more second? There are days where I don't get home until after 10 at night. Lately, those days have become the new normal. Long days are followed by even longer nights. It doesn't seem to be a light yet at the end of this tunnel. It is almost 11 now and the eye are starting to hurt even more.
Tonight was one of those nights. I am just tired and want to get a restful sleep. That won't happen as the alarm is set early....like 4:30. kind of early. I need to get to work on all of the things that I didn't get to do tonight. The laundry won't get itself done, homework for my boys still needs to be checked, the baseball equipment needs to get taken out of the car, the reports need to get written and so on and so on... The list is really never ending. I'm sure I am not alone with all the to do's, but it sure feels like everyone is getting everything done seamlessly. Hopefully soon, I will go back to my previous sense of normal with regular times to get home and no after school meetings. I miss being home with my children and being the one to get them to and from their activities. Since we had conferences on Friday I was able to have a slower start to my day. Our parent teacher conferences don’t start until 11, so that give me time to actually help get my kids out the door. Unfortunately, me being home and getting up later doesn’t really help. That just set things in motion a little later than normal. I rushed them out the door to only realize that my son forgot his Epi-pens at home. No problem, I will drop them off on my way….
I get to the school and press the buzzer: Secretary: “Can I help you?” Me: “Yes, I am here to give my son his Epi-pens, he forgot them at home.” Secretary: “Come straight to the office.” As I walk straight into the office, as directed, I see a woman that peers out to the side of the computer and just stares at me. Secretary: “Driver’s license” So I hand it to her with a smile on my face, she hands it back to me with a guest pass. Without making any direct eye contact with me, she says “Go to the nurse’s office.” I have to be honest, my smile is starting to diminish. I connect eyes with the other mom waiting, we both kind of shrug our shoulders and I walk out the door. The nurse’s office is about ten steps from the main office. I get there and there is a big red sign on the door that read “the nurse is unavailable, please go to the main office.” I start to chuckle, knowing that the secretary will be mildly annoyed since she was quickly able to pawn me off elsewhere. Walking back in, I wait my turn again to explain that the nurse was unavailable. Secretary: “Name of the student again. How do you spell the last name?” Me holding up the tag: “STR…” She interrupts me to say “Oh, it is the same last name as yours,” but I just continue to spell the rest of OUR last name. She lets me know that it will be a few minutes until he transitions to lunch and then he will be here. I just sit patiently until he arrives, my sweet boy thanks me and gives me a kiss before heading back on his way. I walk out. The other mom tries to create small talk with the secretary to compete with the awkward silence, but was to no avail. I just can’t help to think that this woman try smiling a little more. She is the face of the school and is the first experience when people walk in the building. I get that she deals with a lot of dynamic people and problems. However, just greeting a person with a hello and a smile can maybe make a big difference in how interaction goes….positively or negatively. I have never been to the Sky Zone by closest to our house. It is an unassuming storefront within a strip mall. We are headed in celebration of my youngest turning 12. He decided this was the place he wanted to go with his friends, followed by a sleepover at our house.
Their excitement is beyond high at this point, they are loudly singing in unison to YouTube videos as we drive there. As we park, Luke asks “Can we make a break for it?” “Um, no! It is still a parking lot,” was my response. Upon entry, it is overwhelmingly loud, even for the average person. The volume of the music only intices people to talk louder to compete with the music. It appears to be a rather large place, yet it doesn’t seem like there are that many places to go in here. we wait in a line, but we are next. only to wait for about 15 minutes to find out we are in the wrong line (giant eye roll). So we move to the proper line and get checked in. With out a beat the slap on their stickers and are ready for fun! The 5 boys immediately found an open table and switch to their special socks. Off they go. I make a round to endure everyone is still able to walk. I notice that after just 30 minutes, they are already rosey cheeked and dripping with sweat. I make sure that I have the waters lined up and waiting when they decide they need it. In hind sight, maybe having a sleepover after sweating at a jump place for two hours wasn’t the smartest idea. I’m certain that my house will be filled with the sent of sweating preteen boys combined with sweaty feet! The most important part is that my guy is loving every moment of it!! ♥️ Yesterday my baby celebrated his twelfth birthday, how can this be. This sweet, gentle and kind boy was just a baby. EVERY year, on his actual birthday, the day is his to pick the activities, dinner and desert. NOT THIS YEAR!
This year, I had parent teacher conferences that went until 8 at night. How was it possible that I was going to miss out on his special day? I was in utter disbelief that I would miss out on this very special occasion. I helped with the strategic planning of drop offs and pick up for the evening. Again, usually the focus is just on him and nothing else. But as it goes, the still had places to be: 5:15-6:30: Religious Education (Child one) - Grandma will manage 5:30-7:00 - Baseball practice (Child two) - Dad will manage 8:00-9:00 - Basketball practice (Child two) - Dad or Grandma will manage Somewhere in between Grandma and Dad will either switch kids or try to find a place to have a dessert to celebrate this special boy. I will just spoil him with my love after I get home from conferences. It the splash of a moment, baseball practice was cancelled. That was the one thing we didn't want to cancel, but Mother Nature had a different plan. (Thank goodness!) As soon I got the text, I called my boys to tell them I was calling them in for the other activities! I had them call their dad to let him know there was a new plan. I wasn't a part of the dinner, VR place they hung out at or the TCBY dessert, but he still had his special day with fun activities that he helped pick. He still had his dad, brother and my mom, the people who mean the most to him sharing his special day. When I got home, they waited to have cake and sing to that he could have all of us together, brought me some TCBY (with my favorite toppings) and shared with me all the fun things they did to celebrate him. This sweet young man, reminded me how it was ok. He knew I was sad I couldn't be with him. He already planned what he wanted to do with just me to so that he and I could celebrate on a different day. So in the end, I didn't really miss out. It was just postponed.... Today is the longest day of the year for our district....parent/teacher conferences. UGH! We start the day at 8 with a half day of school, prepare for conferences and then meet with parents until 8. Just a long day.
All of a sudden I look up and realize the school day is coming to a close. I ponder for a few seconds, do I order lunch or not? Our principal is very generous an orders dinner food to have in between conferences. It is pouring rain and hailing outside, so I definitely don't even want to run out for a little something. There is my answer, Jimmy John's it is. I better hurry and place my order, it is 11:30 right now and I have to be at a meeting by one. Logged in: Triple chocolate chunk cookie. CHECK (I will need a boost later) Chips. CHECK (Not thinny chips, just regular) Vegetarian, easy cheese, avocado spread and easy mayo. CHECK Now that I decided I can't wait for it to get here. I can't stop thinking about how good my food is going to taste. It is taking so long to be delivered, why is it taking forever??? My cellphone is ringing, it is an area code by where I live. I should get it, maybe it is about my kids. The person on the line says "Hi, I am trying to deliver your sandwich, but there is an older lady that says she didn't order anything.” I start to laugh hysterically out of embarrassment. I said “OMG, you are delivering to my house, not where I am." I didn't double check my address. Clearly I was panicking to get in the order I missed that I sent it to my home instead. The girl was very kind and said she would cancel the order and get me a refund. I can't believe I did that! So I tried again, this time to the correct address, but the wrong chips and I ran out of time to eat it. LONGEST DAY EVER! :-) Mornings are my favorite time of the day. Not because I enjoy waking up every day to go to work or to start my daily responsibilities. Typically, I wake up late and feel the rush to shower, pick out my clothes and run out the door... hoping to not forget something I will need for the day, inevitably I will forget something.
Generally, my thirteen year "acts" as though my hugs and kisses are a chore or that they are a nuisance to him. Mostly, he plays around and is smirking while he is pulling away from an innocent hug from a mom to her little boy. As he gets older, the hugs are less frequent but so much more meaningful to me. The kisses are even harder to come by, especially the ones where he doesn't wipe his cheek after I barely touch him. Again, he is over exaggerated with his response to elicit a dramatic response from me ... which he does. However, in the morning, He is awaken with gentle words and the overwhelming sense that he is loved beyond measure. I want to make sure he starts every day on the “right foot.” Yes, he has an alarm, but I sneak in and lay with him, even if it is for a few moments. Those are our moments to share. I can kiss his cheeks without him trying to pretend I am bothering him, he is just simply too tired to move. While laying with him, he will turn on his side and tug at his shirt to give me a little sign... a sign that he wants me to tickle his back.... a sign that he is not to grown for his mommy. It reminds me of when he was a very little boy who didn't run in the opposite direction when I opened my arms for a hug or turn his face away from an incoming kiss. I cherish those moments, as I know they are fleeting. I miss my little boy, but adore the young man who is now here. Even though he is too tired in the morning to fight off my affection, I secretly think he enjoys the reassurance that I will be there EVERY SINLGE MORNING. “Do you want a Diet Coke from McDonald’s?”
Oh how that sounds delightful, but I can’t. “WHAAAT, why not?” I gave up Diet Coke up for Lent and chocolate candy…ugh!! “BOTH, can I get you something else?” YESSSS a Mocha Frappe would be delightful. “Thank you for all your doing!” Nothing can make a day go better than a sweet treat from a friend at work. |
AuthorI have worked in social work for over 25 years. The past 19 years have been within an elementary school setting. Archives
March 2022
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