Generally, I live by checklists. I have one for parents to call, students to follow-up with, doctors to call, reports to write, lists, lists and more lists. I do like the sense of crossing something off that list….even though there is no shortage of tasks.
At the start of the week, I created lists of things that needed to be completed for the week. Not all have been checked off as I have been busier than I thought I would be with work. Tonight while texting with my neighbor, she shared her list. She has a “To do”, “In process” and “Done.” I thought I love this! I am making one for Ryan, Lucas and Grandma. My kids already have their school day checklist (and yes it is laminated), but this can be their own things they would like to do for spring cleaning. I am certain, I am the only one who will enjoy having the lists hanging on the wall. Maybe with the right motivation, their closest can be cleaned out too! They have been so good about everything this week, maybe we can keep that positive spirit going!! Spring cleaning here we come!
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I learn something new from my older teenager everyday from new slang terms to things that he feels are now fashionable. I wish I would write down the phrases he says to me. I even tried to ask my younger son what some of the phrases are; he said “Mom, I don’t talk like that.” He is right, he doesn’t.
Here are just a few of the terms that I needed explained to me: “Drippy” = you look good “Extra Drippy” = you look really good “Well substantially, of course” = yes ( and this one is said to me after almost anything I ask of him) “Bet” = No doubt I’m right “Slime” = friend/best friend Then my oldest sweet talked me into buying him a Ralph Lauren sweatshirt. I know it's pretty nice for a 14 year old (insert eye roll). He puts it on and ties the hoodie strings in a bow. I chuckle and tell him that that looks ridiculous. He proceeds to tell me that is how people wear them nowadays (insert eye roll, again). So he pulls up his Snapchat and scrolls threw several pictures of the being tied. I simply said I will do better than their parents and not allow you to wear it that way. I am not sure if that won him over or not, but when I saw him after school it was not tied… #win. Today, I had to go to the doctor for another appointment. It was one that I couldn't and didn't want to postpone. One of my best friends offers to take me, even though she will have to wait in the car for two hours. She is amazingly willing and understanding. Her sister brought me to another appointment two weeks ago, but in those two weeks our world has changed so much.
So I go, alone and more nervous about getting Coronavirus more than the actual reason why I am there. I make sure to touch nothing, barely sit on the edge of a chair and ask how frequently they are cleaning everything. I am reassured that they are all over this. I hesitantly take the receptionist pen to sign my name and immediately remind myself - GO WASH YOUR HANDS! As I go back to get into the scrubs, I eye the bathroom and make a pit stop to wash my hands. I change into the scrubs and then again, wash my hands! Everyone that passes me has a mask covering their face. There is something a little unnerving about not seeing a person's reassuring smile. Next is getting my IV and she had a difficult getting something tight enough on it. So blood just comes pouring out of my arm. We kind of joked that this would make a good story for later. It wasn't her fault. On to the reason I was there, I needed to have a follow-up MRI to have a guided biopsy. Luckily, I still had more anti-anxiety medicine from the last MRI. My first MRI attempt only lasted 37 seconds, so the medication was a must! The second one went perfectly and this is now the third one. As they started to slide me in I asked them to pause, as I could feel my anxiety raise and the tears start to roll down my face. I told them I just needed another minute. They very kindly rub my back and tell me "you got this Michelle." For this moment, I believe them! Honestly, this just had to be done, I needed the answer... whatever the case maybe. I am ready to find out. So I go, listening to Bon Jovi through the headphones - this reminds me of good times with my best of friends and the concert this summer. I seem to be in this God forsaken tube longer than we had talked about it. I wonder if the contrast isn't working or are they are having trouble finding "the spot" like they did during the ultrasound? They slowly slide me out of this contraption and tell me the doctor will be right in, but that I am not having a biopsy today. So what does that mean? The doctor walks in and says that what they were looking for is gone. He said bad things stay and good things leave. So for today, I am healthy with routine follow-ups! Not sure how to wrap my brain around this except to just accept it what it is and be grateful in this moment. Then start the tears of relief. A few months ago I noticed that I was getting more notifications on my ring doorbell. When I paid more attention, I realized I was seeing orbs floating across the videos. Since, then it has occurred several more times since the fall.
My immediate thought was I have a GHOST! OMG! Who is it, is it Grandma is it or my cousin Monika?? Maybe it is someone else? Then comes the debunking: Is there a light shining? No. Is it a bug. No...
What are your thoughts? Today was the first day of the lock in for my kids. I did make a schedule for the boys to follow everyday. I made the expectations clear for all of us and the importance of the learning to continue despite not being in school. I really am not confident that this will really be over by April 6th. So I want to set the bar high to start.
So today, I was up early and got out to vote before too many people walked through the booths. The boys slowly woke up and we agreed that today was technically a day off for them before the ban. So they had a less structured day. Is that a parenting fail or going with the flow? I’m not sure. All I can say is that they did some chores, played outside and we were able to sit and eat meals together. They asked what time they have to go to bed tonight, 10? I said I was thinking no later than 11...the cheers rang out. Is that a parenting fail or going with the flow? That tells me that they know tomorrow is down to business and to my surprise they are not questioning it! I hope that it all goes well. I have several IEP meetings tomorrow via phone, so they should be working too! I hope I can swing working, teaching and parenting throughout the next few weeks. Sending good vibes to all of my friends and everyone else in the same situation! Today was the first of our days off due to social distancing. I thought it would be pretty low key with planning for reports, meetings, planning for students. Clearly, I was wrong. It was filled with emails for my kids teachers, work emails back and forth with colleagues about students, meetings, clarifying questions and the wonder about if this will only be for three weeks. There are many unknowns for the next few weeks. How am I going to help teach my own kids and keep up with their curricular expectations? My expectations for work are kind of changing everyday, as this is unprecedented territory, it is hard to know how to plan. Will I have enough of the essentials at home so I don't have to brave the stores? I am a person who likes a certain sense of predictability. I say that, but really my everyday at work is very unpredictable. However, the difference is I have a schedule and I generally can gage where I will have a wrench thrown in. So it is loosely predictable and scheduled. My home schedule is very regimented everyday with religious and sports activities. As much as I am looking forward to the slow pace and family time, I am still feeling a little uncertain about work and the greater unknown. I like knowing how my week is laid out at the start of the week, knowing that there will be a couple hiccups. So for now, I am just going day by day and enjoying every moment with my boys while we are quarantined at home. Stay safe everyone! Yesterday we celebrated Luke’s birthday with a few of his friends, his best of friends. As each parent dropped off they commented on how crazy I am for letting these kids sleep over. I just smile and say it is not a big deal and chuckle.
We made our best attempt to complete an escape room…we were so close, but probably needed a few more minutes. We head to my house and order some pizzas. There is a huge commotion at the front door, which tells me the fourth boy has arrived - totally 5 and my other son. They run outside and play some football and then head in to try the Oculus. I almost have to force them to come to eat the pizza. After that they head to the basement for some air hockey and foosball. Once they are done with that we set up the loft area with three tvs and the desktop. The video games have begun! They are good, respectful and rambunctious kids! They make loud noises and run around the house like lunatics, but they get along and don’t argue with each other. So really I can’t complain. Well, until they are still up around 3:15 am. That’s when I pulled the plug - Time for bed boys! I think they finally settled in about four. Actually, I had to wake them up just before the parents came to get them. I even had to send the Donuts in a baggy home with them! I had some tired boys today! It was a great night filled with new memories for Lucas! Today is the day that my life took another amazing turn. I gained another gift in my life that continues to give everyday.
He is my sunshine on a rainy day. He is my sweetness when I am feeling sour. He is my light when my world feels dark. He is my twin even when he “pretends” not to like it. This child feels deeply and is sensitive and is always thinking about his friends. He wants to make sure those around him are happy, yet stands up for his beliefs - even if it isn’t the popular choice. He is the best of both of us. He makes my heart full. Happy 13th Birthday Lucas! The day started out with a bang from the moment the students got off the bus. I think that everyone hearing or evening sensing that school may be closed has made them CRAZY. It could be that the children are not really understanding what all this really means but have a sense of uncertainty.
The morning was consumed with students who were struggling this with everyday tasks. Lunch time comes and goes, again more difficulties dealing with everyday tasks. Then the afternoon was filled with the chaos from finding out that we won’t be back for THREE WEEKS. So much to think about - how will our parents manage childcare, some of our students eat breakfast AND lunch with us, the consistency of school is gone, how will this “shutdown” of everything impact our families financially. I am afraid this will push people who are borderline poverty over the edge. How will they continue to survive! I am so worried for them all. As the kids left the school, there were extra hugs given and there were even some tears from children. They were given reassurance that everything would be ok. I packed up everything I thought I would need for the next few weeks, just in case. My room looks as orderly as it would if I were leaving for the summer, well, almost. I rounded out this day with dinner with my family for an early celebration for my baby boy. This day was a roller coaster of emotions, but ended on a good note. Then I realize that today is FRIDAY THE 13TH - whoa, what a day. I’m not even sure I can tell you exactly what I did today. I can tell you that it was non-stop and filled with putting out fires with little and big flames. Some flames took a few minutes ranging up to hours long. Which means my schedule for the day is off the rest of the day. I like having a schedule.
Generally, I have a smile on my face regardless of what is thrown my way. Today was a little different. It just started off on the wrong foot and just never seemed to get fully back on track. My smile took a little more effort. Here are a few of the things that I appreciate everyday, but especially helped me get my smile back today: First - I have some amazing co-workers! Whether they are calling me to put out a fire, working side by side to manage the fire or just talking through “stuff,” they make these days manageable. They support me, appreciate me and give me that chuckle when I need it the most. Secondly - I was able to see several former students at our Junior High School this morning (I work in an elementary school). I don’t have a lot of “friends” that come back to see me - I’m not sure kids think it is amazing to have seen the social worker. So, when I get those few who are really excited to see me, it definitely fills my heart with joy. Third - the kinder friend who was having a tough time, but was able to settle back in to the class activity with help. He is a little peanut. He leaned into me and said “You’re cute” with the biggest smile. How can you not just melt?!? I told him “you’re pretty stinkin’ cute too.” I keep rubbing his back to help refocus back on the teacher. Lastly - I got to spend a decent amount of time at home after work - not activities to run to today. I purposefully sat, watched television, got groceries and just enjoyed the moment of hearing my kids play with a friend. I didn’t even open my computer except for this. I just decided to not work and enjoy the moment. It was amazing! |
AuthorI have worked in social work for over 25 years. The past 19 years have been within an elementary school setting. Archives
March 2022
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